Top Gear

MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, FORD SHOULD MAKE SOFTWARE.

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

“If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five pound cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon”

In response to Bill’s comments, Ford issued a press release stating the following: “If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the motorway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought ‘Car98’ or ‘CarNT.’ Then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single ‘general car fault’ warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same bum size.

9. The airbag system would say ‘Are you sure?’ Before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. Ford would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of A.A. road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time Ford introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You’d press the ‘Start’ button to shut off the engine.

Footnote by the Grey Eagle

The author obviously has not driven a PRIUS

I think so! XD XD XD!

Hello Io'

Thanks for your appreciation.

If you like this series and want to keep a copy do it now because I may delete some or all of them in the near future!

Greetings from France Ray

MY CONTEST

Nice text Ray ~ really good stuff ~ nice gear work too :) all the best from nick

Hi Nick

Please my friend feel free to Visit again next month!

Ray

MY CONTESTGreetings from France

PS: Good luck and please reply to all your 3656 admirers. Note how the small fry have to work hard to obtain less than 300 hits...:(

Hi blai, my new found friend,

Thanks for your critique, I appreciate your encouraging words.

Greetings from France Ray

MY CONTEST

PS: Please feel free to Visit again next month!

It's a real fun on your page!!! Thank you, Ray! Anna

Hello Anna,

Be sure you are welcome anytime, to visit!

Greetings from France Ray

MY CONTEST

Please Visit my pictures in February!

Wow Ray I had no idea that it was a flock of corporation Geese coming into to land at Goseport!!! I reckon I'm going to have to send a copy of my picture to the Council so as they can put it on their website!!! What do you think?

Thanks for digging it out mate. Now for bed!!!

Ciao nick

Beautiful detail and nice explanation Ray...interesting series too ...very well done.

Greetings Arthur

Great series on old iron.

chris

Phoenix, AZ, USA