I'm a modern creature. An entity for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high tech lo-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warmhearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and puff drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A streetwise smart-bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power guise; I tell power lies; I take power naps; I take victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot, slam-dunk rain maker with a pro-active outreach, a raging workaholic, a working rage-a-holic, out of prefab and in denial. I got a personal whiner, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I'm a non-believer and an overachiever, laid-back but fashion forward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance, supersize, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, often ready, and built to last. I'm a hands on, footloose, knee-jerk headcase, prematurely postraumatic, and I have a pal wild who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling; I'm caring; I'm healing; I'm sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk blondes; I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and Lacoste intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore; touch of soft porn. I bought a microwave at G-Mall; I bought a minigun at a shooter store. I eat fast food in the slow lane, enjoyed original glazed in a hays. I'm toll free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with the flow; I ride with the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunchtime. I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hanging tough, over and out.